When I first started my blog, I used it as a source of motivation and accountability. And truthfully, as a way to validate myself. I struggled with where I was in life. I wasn't confident and felt somewhat lost. Running was a way to gain confidence and find myself. To this day, it helps me clear my head and answer questions in daily life. But, I don't need it like I once did. I love running and I (hope) I always will. But, I love it because working up a sweat, pushing myself, feeling strong. I don't always love the struggles that come with having a running blog - will I get a new PR? Why aren't I faster? Why don't I log more miles? Even if those questions are only my own, I know readers like to see people get PRs, get faster, run more miles. It can be inspiring and motivate them to do the same. Yet, I find myself over and over again not caring about those things. Sure, it's nice to run sub-8 minute miles sometimes. But sometimes, it's also nice just to run and not look at my time once. For this reason? I've stopped posting on Daily Mile. I love the community, but I'm terrible at commenting on other people's workouts and honestly, I don't want to have to explain myself if one day I run a "fast" 5k and then run something much much slower soon after. Even if people don't question it, I often feel like I have to justify it when I see people posting that they ran 213729142374982739 miles at at 4-minute mile pace. Moreover, I feel "runner guilt" when I go days without posting a run. Which can be motivating, but also somewhat discouraging. Here's the thing - I'm really happy where I am in life. I feel like I'm on the right track for the first time in a long time. I see that the effort I put in at work amounts to something - huzzah! The boys actually retain some of the things I teach them! I feel confident in the choices I've made for school. It's tough and stressful, but I love it and it's worth it. I feel like I'm in the right place with relationships - family, friends, and especially Ryan. We're taking the big ol leap into marriage 8.29.14 and we are beyond excited. It feels like the right time in life. We are both finally mature(ish) enough to handle the trials and tribulations of marriage and someday kids together.
cheesin with the bling
close up of the ring:
Us and the venue:
So then, where does running fit in? It remains a constant in a different way. A way to stay healthy and keep my sanity. I have a few more races this season: Detroit Women's Half on september 22 Wicked Halloween Run on october 27 Kona Chocolate Run on november 17 After that? I am putting nothing on my schedule due to saving money for the wedding and just because I need a racing break. I've done countless races over the past few years. I'm ready to just run for me. I'm sure I'll sign up for a few cheap ones sometime next year, but don't plan to do anything big. I want to run because I love it, not because I need to prove anything to anyone, especially myself. This doesn't mean that I'm done with racing forever. Far from it. But, I have a full plate this next year. If I want to truly keep loving running, I need to do it on my terms and not for anyone else. Races are awesome and I love them, but they definitely put pressure on you to be faster and better. By the time the weekend rolls around, I'm so exhausted from work + school, that I wasn't enjoying races like I used to. So, while maybe I'll change my tune every so often, I definitely don't want it to be all the time while I'm still juggling everything else. Plus, wouldn't it be awesome if I just stopped racing and all of sudden starting running like 5 minute miles? Ha. A girl can dream. Running has helped me grow and change. The miles on the road listened quietly as I pondered where I was going. I hope it remains a sounding board. But, the fast times,PRs, miles, those things don't always need to be a priority to be a runner. Sometimes, it's just about lacing up and seeing where the road takes you. I still plan to post and even include running talk - but also maybe some talk about school, wedding planning, other exercise, and life in general. Cheers to wherever the miles may take you. Hopefully they lead you to the path you're supposed to go down too. (cheesy, but true). Let's chat: -Anyone else need a racing hiatus? Or to step back from running in some way because of busy schedules, burnout, injuries, etc? -If I'm not talking about running, anything you would love for me to post about? Let me know! -What's been going on with all of you? I feel so out of the blog world! I promise to catch up on posts right now! -How have your priorities changed over the years? Has running changed you (and/or your priorities)? Megan